PIECES HAVE BEEN TORN OUT
i haven't written anything in a while. or i have, but i feel like i have not. and that is only natural. there is a sense of urgency- that i need to compensate. i know not why. it's that lingering incompetence. that dark, pulling, dying, crackling incompetence. i want to take beautiful photographs and paint beautiful images; of leaves and hope and magic, but there is nothing in me. i know because i see it in others. it seems so effortless to catch the light, i so wish that i could. maybe someday. perhaps when i let it alone for just a little while, only because one shouldn't push and push and push.